To The Ones Who Dream Pt 1

// Ingrid Michaelson – Everyone Is Gonna Love Me Now 

Throughout my life it has always seemed kind of a mystery to me that good people are taken away from this world, a little too soon. Or we never appreciate their presence until it’s too late. As I make my way to the nearest coffee shop, I see tributes on buses, screens and posters filled with messages of love and support. The entire city is light up in purple and yellow, dozens of bouquets of flowers and candles all around town.  

Photo by Mike Labrum

We are still grieving, over the loss of an icon. It wasn’t because he was a world-class, successful athlete, but because he was a family man, amazing father, a great husband. It seems like he not only loved and respected his wife, but almost worshipped her, like she’s someone special created just for him. She earned the profound respect, almost the adoration of a devoted man. Sometimes I wonder how does it feel like to be married to your best friend, your true love. His Instagram is filled with husband-wife, father-daughter moments, and the smile they shared, shows how genuine and happy they were. And how wonderful was the relationship he had with his children, which most fathers fail to have.  

And that, breaks my heart. I wished I have that kind of relationship, with my family.  

// James Ingram & Patty Austin – How Do You Keep The Music Playing. 

 Got my morning latte and a croissant french toast. Walked down the alley, and saw this on my way back, near the Farmer’s Market.  

Photo by Liana De Laurent De Laurent 

I immediately thought of the silent connection I have with my father. I believe it’s a norm, among our family to not show your love and affection. His parenting style was quite strict, imagine trying to have a conversation and the only opinion we need to accept is his. Although we share the same taste in music and ideology on things, he can be quite defensive when I try to improvise his ideas or give some suggestions. I’ve reached to the point where I have to agree to disagree. 

When I was little, my dad would occasionally take us out for ice cream. He taught me how to cycle, how to fish. He was always home early from work, to water his plants and spend time with us. My music taste definitely revolved around the music he listens to but my rebellious contrarian has convinced me to seek out different genres other than the oldies. 

Rod Stewart –I Don’t Want To Talk About It 

Sometimes I wonder why he’s always angry, I don’t know what was going on in his mind or in his life. He’s angry to us, but happy. We never hug or kiss each other and the only time I could say I love you without being awkward is on his birthday or Father’s Day – and when I ask for money. We can count how many I Love Yous in a year.  

I used to tell myself that I’m never going to be like him, irritable and resentful,  but then years later, I realize that I sound just like him (and look a lot like him too). And now, I understand that most parents give their best even at their worst. I became more reserved around him, but that does not mean I love him any less.

But hey, this cycle of estrangement and awkwardness must not continue and we shall break the chain.  

Oh well.

Why do I sound like I’m narrating my thoughts like Joe Goldberg? Anddddd just like him, I’ve moved to LA. Trying to disappear, but not really trying. I think the people here is friendlier than the New Yorkers, the weather is incredible, warm, sunny but no humidity, this city brings a different vibe, more chill, surrounded by beaches and nature. Good morning La La Land.  

// Justin Hurwitz – Mia & Sebastian’s Theme 

Photo by Alexis Balinoff 

To Be Continued…